I’m Lilli, one of the antagonists in HADA’S FOG. Of course, I don’t think I’m an antagonist, but I know I caused a lot of trouble for the Zuckerman family–life and death trouble. I’m fifteen and I want to figure out how to be a better person. You can check how I’m doing on this page and since I’m often an outcast, I’d really like comments from you. I’ll even let you take some peeks at my diary, read my texts, and maybe listen in on my cell phone. I have to get it together before Julaina finishes my story. She calls it a young adult novel. She promised that I’ll be the protagonist this time. That means I have to be good.
Present Thoughts about the Past
The only thing worse than high school is middle school. I didn’t fit in with the cute girls clique. Godiva, my mother, said it was because I was prettier than they were so they wouldn’t include me. I skipped third grade, but I didn’t fit in with the nerds either. I don’t have to study much to pass tests and I like to have fun. They didn’t. I’m sort of athletic, but I don’t care much for team sports. I love music but don’t want to play an instrument and the band kids thought I was too weird. Anyway, not much changed for me in social groups, except when I became a junior, at least the senior boys liked me. And I sure liked older guys. Still do. Godiva said I shouldn’t get a reputation with them. If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up like her. That’s not going to happen because my father said I’d be a terrific actress. I was practicing for a movie career when I got into all that trouble. But, more about that later.
Lilli texts: Stacey, u’ll get +. BTW I’ve been called worse names n brat. Ur mama’s cool.
Lilli texts: Fun I am L. Winfred, from yr Lady Lilli. So kind of u 2 stop by.
Email to Sheri
Hi Sheri, Thanks for reading about me. Julaina says you have a cute dog, two dogs. I like animals. But I don’t agree with what I’ve read that animals live in the now. People who say that haven’t really looked into the eyes of a dog or cat. If the animal had a hard life, it shows in their eyes. Their suffering is there. It’s the past coming through.
When I was on the streets in Oakland (oops, Julaina doesn’t want me to talk about those times…spoils the plot of my story. Who cares?) Anyway, when I was on the streets making my rounds, I had dog and cat friends (they make better friends than people do). They remembered me every time. If they only lived in the now, they wouldn’t have memories of me petting them and talking to them. I could tell they knew me deep down, you know what I mean? Like they saw the suffering in my eyes, they understand what the past is, mine and theirs.
And the future, they worry about the future like when their tummies growl, they wonder when they’ll be fed. What about when they’re tied up outside a restaurant while their owners are inside gorging themselves and the dog is all nervous and howling and wondering why they’re left alone in a strange place and when the one they love will come back. They’re scared, like I was.
Anyway, I wish I had a dog, or a cat, or a bird, or a monkey, or ……..
Email to J.K. Royce
Julaina told me to read your novel, PILZ, so I did. I’m interested in addictions because my mother, Godiva, is an alcoholic. She took prescription drugs for a while but every time I found ’em, I made sure they went down the toilet. She couldn’t get anymore.
My mother’s doctor wasn’t like the doctors in J.K. Royce’s PILZ. I guess she didn’t know how to find ‘em. She’s not too clever, couldn’t graduate from high school and the alcohol is not only rotting her liver, it’s getting to her brain. My smart genes came from my father, but he’s a real piece of work too. Wait ‘till you read what he did when I got in trouble.
In high school, I drank too much, but not enough to get addicted. Abe, Hada’s younger son, made sure of that. He helped me more than anyone in my whole life ever did. But, you can read all that in HADA’S FOG. Julaina finished her query letter and has a list of agents to contact. Maybe she’ll finally get it published. I hope you don’t hate me too much when you read the novel. Out of all the people who read the drafts, only one person (Rebecca) liked me. That gives you an idea how bad I was. Abe’s the favorite. Everyone likes Abe.
I think J. K. Royce likes me so that makes two friends I have besides Esther, Hada’s granddaughter. I’ve learned that friends are important.
Email to J.K. Royce
I forgot to tell you what I’ve been reading about addictions. I found Dr. Pillai’s website and signed up for his daily messages. He talked about addictions the day I found him. He said addiction “has a time component” because it holds on to an old moment that’s been repeated in the past so it’s done again and again. He scared me when he said, “The addictions may change from one thing to another, but the addiction remains.” I think that means I am an addict after all. I gave up alcohol, but I’m having a real hard time giving up the other addiction I have, the one that started my passion for acting. Or, maybe my passion for acting started the other addiction. But, Julaina won’t let me tell you any more about it. Spoils the plots. Do you think a person goes from one addiction to another when they stop one?
Anyway, J.K. Royce, I hope PILZ made a hit on Kindle over the weekend. Can’t beat a book for free, specially yours that’s worth a hella lot more than I paid on Amazon. I think I’ll read it again.